소망와진실

20080830

Hmm imagine u haf by pass this mountain n nids to cross a bridge to another mountain b4 u reached ur desire destination, wat wld u do if the bridge is long, u dun seem to c the end of it and there might b broken planks and torn ropes tat r holding on to the bridge. there might b trails on the brigde to choose.. depicting either a smooth or rough journey..well u could jus stay in tat mountain n not cross.. but the thing is.. u'll neva get 2 know if the other side gets a better view of the sky. It takes courage to beat urself to surrending. so wat wld u haf done?

To me.. there's a bridge in front of me.. ur desire will change as u grow.. u nid 2 gear urself up when deciding to cross the bridge. It's like your future seems uncertain abt wat u realie wanna do.. u jus keep on trying.. the bridge might b a barrier that seems to b hindering ur tots and determination to reach ur ultimate goal. but when u haf crossed the bridge.. ur goals might change. let's not diminish ur current goals now till u haf reached the end of the mountain n awaiting for u is another bridge.. well ur skills and experience of crossing the bridge n mountain will help in exploring more reality n facets of life..

hee.. set tat aside.. ytd moo charmie n duckie stayed over at my hse... we were realie darnnnnn tired.. considering duckie had sch.. charmie went out.. moo waked up earli 2 call. n me to go do trial btt.. we had total lack of sleep.. n i was tryin 2 stay high e whole nite.. haha.. they ate pizza( vv hard one) n nuggets n i had milk tea.. mahjong. tat's wat we did.. haha.. can u imagine.. aniwae think i m gettin ambitious in mahjong.. haha.. oops. no $ involved la.. jus playing big makes e win more satisfying! hope to haf more such gatherings.. but hmm everyone is starting work soon! we shall haf some meetups during the fri n wkends now n then.. smiles!

1_0 thought hard on 10:56

20080827

hee.. sounds fun rite... actualie we had quite some fun ytd.. i cooked! haha i mus say.. my potato salad is not bad... the chix wings r nt bad too.. onli the kimchi jigae.. dunno.. it is up 2 rest to say.. haha.. hmmm aniwae thanks for the paopaocha frm moo.. the chix cubes frm 'emily' n the brkfast frm charmie.. well they came quite earli.. den actualie i tot of watching a movie.. but end up we played.. hee.. e fun part was finishing the food w the dice game.. haha.. charmie n 'emily' ate alot.. haha... tat's vv 邪! haha... aft 'emily' went home.. we played mahjong.. including my dad! haha.. guess wat! he won everybody! dotx rite... i wanna bite charmie.. she alwaes ting me.. haa.. but guess aft 1 game i took everything bac! haha.. sorrie!

Aniwae set those aside.. i hope leney is feeling much better.. heard she isn't feel vv well.. n hmmm luckily her interview is over.. mayb i shld go visit her sometime tis wk.. tmr! haa.. anione wanna join me? hee.. charmie is starting work like in less than 5days.. man.. i will miss her playing w me! ( haha i included a pic we took last yr in kr!)

oh btw.. i m supposedli to go celebrate marcus' bdae..! but i din go.. aft all moo n charmie stayed till quite late @ my hse.. n it wasn't vv nice to kick them out! so sorry abt tat! hmm Happy Birthday Marcus.! i doubt he will c tis aniwae.. cuz my blog is kinda private! haha..

Lastly... GOOD LUCK EMILY!!!! Wish u well in today's interview!

1_0 thought hard on 07:06

20080823

hee.. okie been resisting frm those chips n stuff.. finali i broke the vow ytd.. haha i had a lot of sinful stuff... mudpie.. crepe.. waffle.. sushi... n jap food.. man.. i ate alot... hearing how SD actualie lost 10kg within a mth +.. it makes me wanna work out n shed 5kg.. i m still working to it.. maintaining is already quite difficult... haha.. well i ate the tebasaki ytd.. the chix wings.. not bad man... if u r a db fan.. u shld noe.. haha..

alrite.. getting abit fan mode in this post.. cm has grown up sooooo goood looking(jus look at tat pic)... he is gg 2 overtake his hyungs le... 안돼!!!... stil my yunnie is e best! man! haha.. if anione has been lookin at s-m concert.. they realie darn.. darn... sexy... oh.. they did a korean cover for love n th3 ic3.. i still like e jap version... though both r nice.. hoping.. n waiting like darnnnnn long for e 4th jib.. hurry.. n b4 tat their little juniors s-hy-ny will b out w album 1st.. darn... sunbaes r more impt can! they r fighting w alot of ple! my f-t 2nd album is out too! yeah!!!! haha.. love it..! okie... i m darn bored tat i have time for tis..

hmmm recentli.. i heard lotsa departures in life.. hmmm sobs.. i tot this yr i realie saw quite a few ple left us.. well i wish.. when they reached e other side.. they will b better.. realie.. i miss some of them.. it's jus tat.. u can't reach out to them animore.. grown up! but still i find myself vv immature.. i wonder wat's e difference every 10yrs.. seems like more n more tired.. n more n more challenging.. but tooo lost.. in wat u actualie wanted when u r young..

aniwae jus hope a right n good opportunity will knock on me soon! nid some cash.. haha..!

1_0 thought hard on 13:18

20080819

Seriousli.. it's unbearable. to reali understan if i like my job... i reallie dunno... man.. they realie offered me.. it's quite attractive.. jus tat i mus start w telemarketing n i suspect presentation.. which i m realie weak.. n i might not b ready.. but then again.. it's a form of training.. i tot tis would b quite stressful.. den again.. which job isn't?.. u mus step out of ur comfort zone 2 b rewarded.. i mus enjoy my job.. i guess the onli enjoyment is tat.. i get e right ple to e right job.. but then again.. their name isn't vv sounding to most temps out there.. shuckssssss.. i realli hate making this kinda decisions... no one can help except myself.. but seriousli.. looking at e job portal.. dun seem to attract me at all.. i wanna go back 2 sch... i realie think sch is e best thing now... haha.. soounds so coward!

hmmm i might take up the job as a learning phase.. who noes i might grow to like it.. if i dun.. den i jus quit.. its not as if they will wan someone tat has no contribution.. my plans r to work hard to build my interpersonal skills.. den c if i m suitable.. sales driven env.. its probabli a good start.. n hmm it will help when i seek other prospects too! seriousli... i had a nice chat w duckie.. thanks babe.. she had given me a goood enlightenment.. at least she told me.. jus give it a try n c how much u can learn.. not suitable den quit.. having sales bckgrd haf a + adv in career portfolio.. babessss.. lemme sell to u.. i mus improve my selling..! man man...

young env.... seems like it.. does it mean e turnout rate vv high? haha. i wonder.. i shldn't haf e mentality tat i m leaving tat place soon.. but it's realie bothering me...

1_0 thought hard on 09:11

20080811

Feeling not vv good.. duh.. having to face tat situation.. n i m not exactly a person who noe how to use good words.. i m realie feeling e pain...

Is it an offence to be fat n do sports?
SLOW? define e meaning of it... in response?
If u can't tk the stress in s'pore get out.. go to aus.. newzeaand.. wat e heck man..
I wish i could get out as easily as u said..!
Darn it.. money driven= selfish.. motivation takes u no where..
Forget abt ur dreams.. B realistic!(if man dun haf dreams den why do we live? )
Mayb i shld stop tat guesthse tot n hmmm change it to owning a cd chain.. wahaha wld tat b immature?

my self-esteem is reali hurt... no whr 2 belong.. sobs...

1_0 thought hard on 18:34

20080808

hmm the good ones will come when u r well prepared! opportunities come and go.. but what r the opportunities? did u missed it when it came? tat's e reason u dun wanna let go anithin tat comes to u.. my short term goal is... to get a decent job.. n of cuz to earn enuff to let my dad retires.. obviousli.. he is waiting for me 2 shine.. but hmm it wld take a while.. i wonder.. wat's a goood job..

i was discussing w someone.. how mani ple actuali noe wat they want.. probabli those who noe haf become successful already.. n how do u deem successful? to some a simple job tat is sufficient 2 keep e family gg n haf a blissful marriage is a success.. while others might want 2 climb to e top n deem family not a priority. well if u reali gif it a serious tot.. wat do u wanna to achieve at the end? wat's ur worth? wat wld u wan 2 leave w this world? fulfilling ur dream.. dream job.. hse... life.. isn't it too mechanistic? well.. money is not to everythin.. but it's e root to everything..

my dream.. a guesthouse in some countryside.. wld it come true? aft all my mission is to bring joy to ple.. perharps aft a few year of hardship.. i wld start turning into it.. mayb by then my goals haf changed again!

P/s: the milk bottle is gone ( away frm parents' cover).. would u cry for it again? or wld u try 2 stand up n start looking for ur food?

1_0 thought hard on 10:56

20080804

Kiss me out of the bearded barley
Nightly, beside the green, green grass
Swing, swing, swing the spinning step
You wear those shoes and I will wear that dress.

Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight
Lead me out on the moonlit floor
Lift your open hand
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance
Silver moon's sparkling
So kiss me

Kiss me down by the broken tree house
Swing me upon its hanging tire
Bring, bring, bring your flowered hat
We'll take the trail marked on your father's map

itsn't it vv sweet!?! hee..

hmm i'm lookin forward 2 tt feeling.. haha

1_0 thought hard on 00:25

20080803

oot! i jus came back not too long ago frm a tim-bre outing.. well it's realie quite a nice place 2 chill... been a long time since we gt a 'class' outing.. though i seriousli dun understan y there r alwaes more gurls than guys when my class has 3 times more guys than girls... haha weird isn't it? but lovely.. did some catch up w them.. noe wat's up w them.. well... i dun mind getting 'drunk' at marcus hse one day! haha.. cuz it's fun playing n fooling ard.. aft all i haven gotten a job.. n aft i start probabli it's difficult... hmmm... n as we grow older.. it's even more difficult..

oh tim-bre has nice music band.. e one we had tonite is good.. i tot the gurl is vv pretty.. n she sings well.. the guy is quite cute according to eunice.. i like kiss me by 6pence none the richer.. haha.. imagine i sing to my lp.. hmmm it's quite sweet! haha.. oh hoo.. aniwae the drinks r not reali vv cheap.. but consider the place i tot it was alrite.. the pizza is yummy! oh let's go there again someday.. aft work chill!

Aft tots...
If onli someday.. i cld own a guest hse.. n start organising events for the guests staying there.. won't it bring joy to ple? hmm i like to bring joy 2 the world. esp e ple ard me.. lovely moments r short n sweet but it's impt tt we keep it to warm out hearts when we face tough times.. well.. i realie wish this could come true... but... how do i start?

Ps: i finalli gt 2 meet duckie's bf.. hahahahaha!

1_0 thought hard on 01:42